Recently, Minnesota Timberwolves general manager David Kahn wrote a letter to fans which was posted to the "On the Wolves" blog from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune.
Our crack staff of humor analysis, (well to be honest, a monkey in a leisure suit throwing darts at a wall) went into decipher what David Kahn really meant with this letter to fans.
Here it is:
Dear Timberwolves Fans and Supporters:
Bill Simmons.....Just Bill Simmons
I am writing this to you while on the plane from Minneapolis to Memphis, on Friday night following our loss to Dallas. We are 1-9, having lost nine in a row. Our record was to be expected – but it will not be accepted.
The peanuts they gave on the flight were acceptable. I lied about the second part.
Big difference, I think.
So totally a big difference. Party on Garth!
What matters most to me is how we respond to adversity this season – knowing it will come in heavy doses occasionally. Our last nine opponents are a collective 51-30, and there will be similar tough stretches throughout the season.
Obviously, a team that goes 1-9 is really responding to adversity. These heavy doses of Vicodin seem to be wearing off. IT'S NOT LIKE ANY OTHER TEAM HAS NOT PLAYED A SCHEDULE HARDER THAN US
Specifically, I am eager to determine if the team:
I am eager as a stripper to take those singles from your hand
• Improves week to week, month to month, first half to second half. This should occur as everything becomes more familiar and our young players develop. Jonny Flynn and Wayne Ellington in particular need to take advantage of the rare opportunity to play significant minutes as rookies – to learn what works and what doesn’t work at this level and eliminate the mistakes.
Rookies make mistakes, they do. That's why instead of drafting Brandon Jennings, an NBA-ready player, I went with Ricky Rubio to fail five years down the line. Also, I drafted a bazillion point guards and have no back-up help for Al Jefferson and Kevin Love
• Displays a physical and mental toughness, even when we lose. We cannot lose as we did at Golden State – without a fight. I liked the fact that we fought Dallas until the end tonight and won the fourth quarter. Our crowd appreciated it. I expect that to be the norm. I not only expect that to be part of our culture, but also will demand it.
Yep, we fought Dallas. I was so sick of listening to Mark Cuban talk trash after the game. We also gave up against Golden State, Yep #%&#ing Golden State. That team sucks even harder than us and we still lost. The warmth of the Target Center kept the fans there
• Starts running and attacking more on offense, as Kurt and I envision this team playing in the long term.
The long term being our future mortgaged on Ricky Rubio
On that last point, it has been hard for us to sustain a running game without our best rebounder, Kevin Love, and with Al Jefferson still not all the way back from his ACL knee injury. And our defense has been poor at times. It is extremely difficult to run when you are taking the ball out of the basket. But make no mistake – this will become a running team and that will be our identity.
WE ARE THE SPARTA!
I also don’t want to use Kevin and Al as excuses. Everybody has injuries. Everybody has tough parts of the schedule. Everybody has adversity. We will not be a team that makes excuses.
Although, I sorta am making excuses about them not playing. These excuses keep piling up, so I have to tell people that we are not a team that makes excuses. I'm brainwashing you as we speak. You are getting sleepy, Al Jefferson is the MVP.
At times like these, I am motivated to work harder. I want to scout more, watch more film, crunch more numbers, ask more questions. I know Kurt and the coaching staff feel the same. The coaches are the strength of our ballclub right now – I am proud to be working with them. We all recognized when we signed up for this mission that it takes a Herculean effort, from all corners, to turn around a franchise and make it championship-caliber.
No doubt, I am motivated to work harder. I stole the rest of this from Sarah Palin's new book, Going Rogue. You Betcha!
We obviously are not working hard enough yet. We need to do more. And we will.
Or I'll be fired and relegated to NBA TV
Best regards,
At least, we are not the New Jersey Nets
David Kahn